When Real-IT-y strikes!!

I write very rarely, probably one blog a year but I write when it really comes from my heart. So finally, I felt that something has struck me hard and it was time for me to put pen to paper or, finger to keypad - am a techie, you see!

Okay. So how many of you are aware of Madhur Bhandarkar? For those of you who don't know much about him - He is an Indian film director who gave us gems like Corporate, Fashion, etc. unleashing the harsh realities of these worlds.

If ever he made one with the Indian IT industry, I am sure he would struggle to fix a genre for the film. It is now an open secret that Indian IT is a perfect recipe for the masala genre. This industry just has everything - starting with romance, action, drama, sports, politics and a lot more. 

So, here's the script!!

DISCLAIMER:

All the characters are purely fictional and partly co-incidental.

THANKS TO ALL INDIAN FILMS...

SCREENPLAY BASED ON TRUE EVENTS...

First half: Buddy genre, romance, love, setting up the conflict! 

The movie starts off at the exit gate of an IT company where there is a large group of people making their way into the campus. One girl tries to turn the turnstile without swiping a card and the security comes running after. She politely says that it is her first day and she wasn’t aware on how to use the turnstile.

In comes our protagonist to help her. The protagonist rescues her and asks what she is looking for. The girl says that she is looking for the Auditorium where HR Induction is taking place. The protagonist smiles sheepishly and all his memories start flashing up!!

REWIND FIVE YEARS…

About five years ago, when the protagonist made his way into this industry, he had no other option in his professional career.

To be fair to this industry, when the journey started, it was a bag full of roses. But as the old saying goes, before a goat goes for bali, they worship it totally.

The HR group, kicks this bali off with the induction program. A program that just makes you dream. They make you dream so much that you start seeing stars in daylight. You feel the policies are tailor-made for you to enjoy & you feel like you are The Tiger of the jungle! The roses blossom a lot.

The protagonist makes friends, finds a girlfriend who adds some more roses to his life. He starts loving the girl, he starts loving the job. Everything just looks awesome. But then. This is a movie. A masala movie. And the conflict has to strike. The Tiger of the jungle, begins to feel like a puss...hmm...cat of the jungle!!

The first form of conflict starts with the yearly hike. He skims through the payslip to realize that nothing has changed in about three years. And suddenly what started as a light-hearted slice-of-life film, turns into a sports genre. Yes, you read it right. You now know, that it is a race. An ugly race, which slowly turns the cat into a rat!! 

Conflict: Sports drama, Interval block.

So the rat-race has officially begun. Quite a lot is at stake on precisely one thing - the appraisal.

Have you seen a sports genre film where the athlete or the team first prepares to win? You see shots of the protagonist carrying truck loads of weight to build up some muscle.

The same happens in IT too. But the muscle is a little digital here, in the form of "tools", "automation" etc. The protagonist does everything possible to create an impression that he has done everything possible.

It is a reality in IT that you have to show a lot more than what you have done to get the appraisal you want!

The protagonist works harder than ever for the next one year. He creates multiple tools, automates every possible work. 

Then comes the interval twist!!

Here's how the interval block unfolds.

All the work you do is known only by the person just above you in hierarchy. He is popularly known as the manager. He is the most grey character in this film as you never know whether he is good, or bad. The protagonist thinks he is all set for the best rating as he is always in touch with the manager and constantly updates on the tasks he has done!

But then the protagonist comes to know who decides the appraisal rating.

No prizes for guessing, as in all masala movies, it is decided by the villain. And here the villain is the system.

To his disbelief, the rating is actually provided, or locked by a person who is three levels above the manager in hierarchy – called the super-manager. His head starts rolling off!! He opens a mail that reads - Ratings to be declared tomorrow.

And like our mass hero, he utters - "I am waiting...”

Second half: Politics, Action and Building up the climax.

So the appraisal ratings have arrived. The protagonist reaches the office as early as 8 AM in anticipation of a fantastic rating and change in fortunes in his professional career. But, unfortunately, he does not get the desired rating. He is shocked and broken. He waits for his manager to enter the cabin and as soon he enters, the protagonist explodes…

What have I not done? You had given me largely positive feedback, then why I am seeing a lower-than-expected rating on the system? I know people who have worked lesser than me getting a higher rating than me. How is that possible?

The manager says that he had indeed given him a good rating but it was the super-manager, who had to change it due to policies. And the policy does not allow him to lock best ratings for all. The manager also assures that he will get a better rating for the protagonist next quarter if he continues good work or will try to process a visa to UK for an onsite assignment. The protagonist, though a bit upset, returns back to his place.

As he returns, he sees a 3idiots ka Chatur-like character, who is always around the manager, making his way into manager’s cabin. Mr. Chatur is from the same state as the manager and always speaks with him in their local language. Mr. Chatur has got a great rating and is extremely happy. He also provides some comic-relief in an otherwise serious film, by saying yes to whatever the manager says. 

Six more months pass by, and the same story repeats. The protagonist gets a low rating. This time he gathers courage to fight it out with the super-manager directly. The super-manager now responds that even he provided the highest rating but the HR changed the rating due to lack of budget. The protagonist reaches the peak of angst.

The protagonist remembers the day of Induction program when the HR had said so much about the fairness, ethics, etc. of the company. The same HR group has now turned the tables.

He feels he now needs to fight it out verbally to come out trumps in this political battlefield. And the ACTION begins. All the action stunts are performed in emails. So, the action is digital. It is choreographed in such a way that first the protagonist is made to look like a villain to all the supporting cast – the fellow employees of the project, including Mr. Chatur. After losing support from his colleagues, the protagonist delves deep into depression.

REDEMPTION and the CLIMAX…

Days pass by with the protagonist in tears almost every day. He is unable to fathom the fact that Chatur, who has worked lesser than him is now at a higher level than him. But in comes the heroine – the protagonist’s wife. She was seen in montage sequences in the first half when the protagonist falls in love with her and gets married to her. She gives a riveting speech to the protagonist saying that this is not the only company in the world.

If you have done good work, you will easily find another job. Instead of sailing in a boat with no direction, try to get a new job. If you want, I will refer you to my friends in other companies.

The protagonist realizes that he has lost a lot of time by trusting his current company and starts looking for a new job. He attends numerous interviews and finally gets an offer letter with about 50% hike from the current salary. The protagonist proudly takes this letter and meets the manager informing him that he is offering resignation.

The manager informs the super-manager of this and then asks the protagonist to come back after two days. The manager re-assures that he plans to offer an onsite opportunity or promotion to the protagonist.

The CLIMAX…

Two days later, the protagonist reaches the office and meets the manager. The manager hands over an envelope to the protagonist and shakes hands. The protagonist opens the letter, reads it,

laughs, and leaves the cabin.

What the envelope contains is left to the audience’s perception.

Does it have the role change/promotion letter? Or the manager has accepted the resignation and provides the relieving letter? Or is it an approval letter for initiating visa for onsite?

The protagonist makes a call to his wife, and walks further towards the exit gate where he rescues the newcomer. This takes us to the first scene of the film.

Seeing the sarcastic smile on the protagonist’s face, just for directing the HR auditorium, the newcomer asks what the smile was for. The protagonist smiles again and says “Nothing. All the best...”

The screen blurs as the protagonist meets his wife at the exit gate..

DEDICATED TO ALL IT WORKERS WHO ARE STUCK BETWEEN PROMOTION, ONSITE AND SWITCH!!!

When the Universe conspires..

Never thought I would write a blog when the world was in complete disarray. But, as it turns out, the crisis has well and truly begun.

Who would have thought before few months that we would all leave our regular topics of discussion - Politics (read Pro-CAA or Anti-CAA for Indians), Sports, Entertainment,  and move under one umbrella – The COVID-19.

I read it somewhere - China did the unthinkable by uniting the world. Something which only China could have done. Some conspiracy theories may say that it was a Chinese masterplan gone haywire and it was an experiment with viruses that proved costly. But as days pass by, it is becoming increasingly clear that it is, indeed, the conspiracy of the Universe to provide a fitting lesson to human race. 

COVID-19 might be one problem for all of us but let's have a quick look at what it has corrected.

• A news report read - The Nitrogen Dioxide levels in usually polluted regions of the world, have gone down drastically because of the lockdown due to the virus. No vehicles on roads. No impact on carbon footprint, you see.

• A joke by a man read - Staying at home would mean my wife kills me before the virus can. Keeping the humour aside, the universe seems to have conspired to let people spend more time with their families. With their kids. At their homes!

• Companies are starting to learn how important it is to liberate employees by letting them work remotely. Wow mother nature, thank you for that!

• Governments and their abilities are being tested dramatically by this virus. Are they capable of handling a crisis? Or not? Surely many would lose their next elections if they mis-manage this one. This is Universe’s way of saying – Let me show you who really cares for you! And who is capable of looking after you!

• It is confirmed that this virus predominantly kills relatively older people. This was the universe's way of saying - Well, I thought the average life span of 80-100 years was too high for you guys. Let's make it 60?  You weren't doing anything good for the planet anyways.

• Many reports claim that the virus has originated from a wet market. Universe says - Man, I gave you this world, with (5+1)th sense so you could save my other children - The animals. But you are anyways destroying the forests and killing them and making a meal out of it. It was high time I planted a revenge for them. Here it is!  Take that!

• And finally– Universe says - Folks, you were anyways fighting amongst yourselves. Black vs White. Upper caste vs Lower caste. One religion vs another. You weren't shaking hands, anyways right? Let me set the rules again. From now on, you touch no one. You don't shake hands with *ANYONE*.

Looks like Nature has set the world on a ROLLBACK mode. And it is setting each and everything in order. Maybe it's a bigger lesson for all of us? Let's wait and let the action unfold!!

For now, a DevOps engineer like me - who works on Continuation Integration and Continuous Deployment - would read this virus as CORONA - COntinuous ROllback by NAture !!!